Hot Zechs
by Port
Summary: Alone with Noin, Zechs catches fire... literally. Who will put him out?


Hot Zechs

**By Port**

  
Disclaimer: I disclaim nothing. It's all my own fault.  
Feedback is relished. Hope you enjoy!

  


* * *

  
Zechs was alone.

Noin came in.

"Zechs," Noin said.

"Noin, you shouldn't--"

"But I am."

"So you are."

They stood silently.

"Zechs," Noin said.

Zechs turned sideways.

A "fwoosh" sound.

"Your hair's afire!"

"What!" cried Zechs.

"It's burning Zechs!"

"Who lit it?"

"Later! Quench it!"

"We have water?"

"Nope," said Noin.

"Damn," said Zechs.

"Oh! Your clothes!"

Zechs rolled around.

"Am I out?"

"Not yet, Zechs."

"How'd this happen?"

"Don't know, Zechs!"

"War's true nature?"

"Not sure, Zechs."

"Damn! Help, Noin!"

Noin's arms crossed.

"Ouch! It hurts!"

"Deal with it."

"What's the matter?"

He kept rolling.

"Nothing." Noin pouted.

"Something's the matter."

"It's nothing, Zechs."

"C'mon, tell me."

"Sometimes I just...."

"Yes?" Zechs asked.

"Medals are burning."

"Damn! Metal's hot...."

"I just feel--"

"Not now, Noin."

Noin looked down.

"You're so mean!"

"My skin's bubbling!"

"My feelings hurt!"

"Noin! So what?"

"Always about you."

"I'm on fire!"

"That's much better."

"Not for you."

Zechs thought momentarily.

"Oops," he said.

"Lucrezia?" he asked.

"Go to hell."

"I wasn't serious!"

"Hair's still afire."

"So what, Noin?"

"Aren't you busy?"

"Not very, Noin."

He started smoldering.

"Aren't you afire?"

"For you, Noin."

"You mean it?"

"Better believe it."

"I do, Zechs."

They tried embracing.

"Isn't gonna work."

"Why not, Noin?"

"You're on fire."

"Exactly! Come on!"

"You need water."

"Right now, Noin?"

"I'm afraid so."

"How about later?"

"Don't wanna catch..."

"Just slightly later?"

"...fire. Need water."

"Not now, Noin...."

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Yes, but I...."

"You want me?"

"Oh, yes, Noin."

"Then take me--"

"I'm so glad!"

"--after you're out."

"Noin...." Zechs whined.

"Guess we could--"

Smoke started billowing.

"--try a little."

"Oh, Noin! Yes!"

"This isn't working."

"Says you, Noin...."

"Be right back."

"...Where are you...?"

"To call help."

The fire expanded.

"Maybe you should."

"See you soon."

"Be quick, Noin."

He was alone.

"I wonder how...."

He looked around.

"Nothing flammable here...."

He searched more.

"...except for me...."

Zechs started rolling.

Someone came in.

"Colonel Zechs! What--"

"Not now, Otto."

"But you're... flaming."

"So I am."

Otto looked angry.

"Who lit you?"

"Not really sure."

"I'll kill them!"

"Hey Otto, could--"

"I'll rend them--"

"Otto, could you--"

"They better run!"

"OTTO! Get water."

"Water, Colonel Zechs?"

"Noin's getting some--"

"Ah. Lieutenant Noin."

Zechs kept rolling.

"Did _she_ light--"

"Of course not!"

"Of course, sir...."

The fire rose.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

Zechs exhaled painfully.

"It's humiliating, but--"

"Roll faster, sir!"

"I need help."

Otto silently exulted.

"Need help rolling?"

"What'd you say?"

"Nothing! Nothing! How--"

"Find water, Otto."

"Is that all?"

"Flesh is smoldering!"

"Water it is!"

Otto rushed out.

Thirty seconds passed.

Noin ran in.

"What'd you get?"

"A fire blanket."

She covered him.

"Is it working?"

"Need some help."

"What can I...?"

"Beat the flames!"

"With the blanket?"

"No, with mallets--"

Noin scowled down.

"Such a jerk."

"Noin, help me!"

"Why I put..."

Zechs' eyes rolled.

"A mystery, Noin."

"Glad you agree."

"Put me out!"

Noin beat Zechs.

"It's working, Noin!"

"You're going out!"

Otto rushed in.

"Stop killing him!"

Otto tackled Noin.

"Hey! What're you--"

"The flames're back!"

"Get off me!"

"You're killing my--"

"Your what, Otto?"

"Nothing! Nothing! I--"

"You're obsessed with--"

"I am not."

He punched down.

Noin rolled aside.

Otto got up.

Noin kicked him.

Otto fell down.

Flames ate Zechs.

"Noin," Zechs whined.

Otto punched across.

Noin ducked down.

"Otto, stop it!"

"Yes, stop fighting."

Otto punched forward.

He missed her.

"She was trying--"

"No, she wasn't."

"But I saw--"

"For G-d's sake!"

"What's wrong, Colonel?"

"I'm afire here!"

"Get water, Otto."

"Don't order me--"

"Follow her orders!"

"Yes, Colonel Zechs."

"And stop punching--"

"Ow! My jaw!"

"Nice punch, Noin."

Noin smiled nastily.

"Getting water now...."

They watched Otto.

Otto slunk away.

"Noin," said Zechs.

"Here's the blanket."

"Use it, please."

Noin used it.

It started working.

"You're still smoking."

"Pat me down."

"Okay," said Noin.

The smoke slowed.

Noin was thorough.

"Feels nice, Noin."

"Glad you're pleased."

"I'm still afire."

"Where?" worried Noin.

A while passed.

Everything was quiet.

Footsteps approached them.

"Got the water!"

Otto ran in.

Otto ran out.

Otto peeked in.

"How can you--"

"Go away, Otto!"

Otto went away.

More time passed.

"So," said Zechs.

"Yes?" asked Noin.

"I spontaneously combusted."

"I'll say, Zechs." 

  
End


End file.
